We had a lesson in institute that makes sense. We believe if we do this one thing get over this one trial get around this big corner in our life that things will be easier. Guess what ladies and gentlemen life does not look like this L______________. Sorry that would be way to easy life looks like this O. There are problems after problems. Trials after Trials and bubble bursting experiences one after another. Recently I decided to take a leap of faith to say some stuff that had been on my mind. I thought it would make everything better make everything easier and just make me happier. Oh sweet apple pie was I wrong. I was brave and took a step that I would have never have took without a lot of thought and repetitive speech writing. haha alright not all the way. I think when you take steps like this you have to realize you are not the only one in this equation 1+1 does not equal 1 hahaha nope it equals 2. There are things you think you are just doing for 2 ppl but really you are doing it for yourself whether you know it or not. This probably was one of the biggest learning experiences I have had in a long time. I learned that I can do things and be confident and sometimes confidence is hard for me. It is way too hard. I have the confidence of the lion from the wizard of oz. Anyways confidence is something you earn by experience the more you use it the more you have it. Money may not grow on trees but confidence can grow from within you the more you water it and use it. I also learned sometimes things are not meant to work sometimes we believe that we are the rulers of our lives. Dang bang boom... this is the shots of reality I heard when my sweet moment of confidence and self assurance failed on me. Sometimes your life plan is not God's plan for you. I just need to remember his plan is the better plan even if I can't see it now; I know it will be great. :) This is hard for me to remember especially now when I are in the hardest time of my life, growing up learning the steps of life and taking paths untaken. Anyway, taking this leap of faith made me realize that I am capable of doing things that make me feel venerable. It is ok to feel that way. It is a great learning feeling. I realized that when you take a step like this there is no turning back and when you take this step and spill your guts it is ok. 30 Years down the road people are usually going to forget what you told them. And a few years down the road if things don't work the way that you wanted know that maybe it wasn't meant to be and at least now I don't have to wonder what if. I hate when i wonder what if? What if I had just spilled my guts instead of staying silent. My new philosophy, you have nothing to lose. You are strong, brave, kind, and every step you take to becoming venerable and submerging yourself in sharing your feelings help you become a better version of you. I figure if someone doesn't like me for the way I am there is no reason to be spending my time with them or wasting energy on them. At least I said what needed to be said. I know don't wonder what if. I believe I have received my answer. I am growing to be ok with that answer. Somewhere out there is someone who wants me for me. I will not change me to please others. I love me for me. I just have to be patient. Oh how hard it is to settle myself to patients. Life is good. Gods plan for me is great. In time I will be a better version of me and I will love and respect myself. I have already grown tremendously in these last few weeks. Remember God is great! Trust him. Plant a seed of faith and things will be great!!! In him I trust.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Bubble bursting! Wave crashing! Can you do it???
Unfortunately there comes when we have to stop being a solid body of water and rise above or normal and become more than just a flat being. We have to round ourselves out. Rise above the great normal body of water become 10 feet tall and become a wave that raises so steadily, strong, a little uneasy, yet brave taking a stance of faith. We have to fight against this invisible force of gravity and defy the actual thing holding us down. Waves are a beautiful part of nature and they contain such a story. To me I feel like they are a story of my life. As I gain the courage to come out of all my little bubbles that create my own little body of ocean. There are times when I have been pushed like the earth surface pushes the ocean to cause a tsunami. Sometimes my waves are great like a tsunami and sometimes they are small. Recently I have decided that there will always be moments in life where we will be pushed. Pushed in ways that terrify us make us feel like we are thousands of feet in the air hanging from a telephone pole in our lil undies. Life is not easy but it is a growing experience.
We had a lesson in institute that makes sense. We believe if we do this one thing get over this one trial get around this big corner in our life that things will be easier. Guess what ladies and gentlemen life does not look like this L______________. Sorry that would be way to easy life looks like this O. There are problems after problems. Trials after Trials and bubble bursting experiences one after another. Recently I decided to take a leap of faith to say some stuff that had been on my mind. I thought it would make everything better make everything easier and just make me happier. Oh sweet apple pie was I wrong. I was brave and took a step that I would have never have took without a lot of thought and repetitive speech writing. haha alright not all the way. I think when you take steps like this you have to realize you are not the only one in this equation 1+1 does not equal 1 hahaha nope it equals 2. There are things you think you are just doing for 2 ppl but really you are doing it for yourself whether you know it or not. This probably was one of the biggest learning experiences I have had in a long time. I learned that I can do things and be confident and sometimes confidence is hard for me. It is way too hard. I have the confidence of the lion from the wizard of oz. Anyways confidence is something you earn by experience the more you use it the more you have it. Money may not grow on trees but confidence can grow from within you the more you water it and use it. I also learned sometimes things are not meant to work sometimes we believe that we are the rulers of our lives. Dang bang boom... this is the shots of reality I heard when my sweet moment of confidence and self assurance failed on me. Sometimes your life plan is not God's plan for you. I just need to remember his plan is the better plan even if I can't see it now; I know it will be great. :) This is hard for me to remember especially now when I are in the hardest time of my life, growing up learning the steps of life and taking paths untaken. Anyway, taking this leap of faith made me realize that I am capable of doing things that make me feel venerable. It is ok to feel that way. It is a great learning feeling. I realized that when you take a step like this there is no turning back and when you take this step and spill your guts it is ok. 30 Years down the road people are usually going to forget what you told them. And a few years down the road if things don't work the way that you wanted know that maybe it wasn't meant to be and at least now I don't have to wonder what if. I hate when i wonder what if? What if I had just spilled my guts instead of staying silent. My new philosophy, you have nothing to lose. You are strong, brave, kind, and every step you take to becoming venerable and submerging yourself in sharing your feelings help you become a better version of you. I figure if someone doesn't like me for the way I am there is no reason to be spending my time with them or wasting energy on them. At least I said what needed to be said. I know don't wonder what if. I believe I have received my answer. I am growing to be ok with that answer. Somewhere out there is someone who wants me for me. I will not change me to please others. I love me for me. I just have to be patient. Oh how hard it is to settle myself to patients. Life is good. Gods plan for me is great. In time I will be a better version of me and I will love and respect myself. I have already grown tremendously in these last few weeks. Remember God is great! Trust him. Plant a seed of faith and things will be great!!! In him I trust.
We had a lesson in institute that makes sense. We believe if we do this one thing get over this one trial get around this big corner in our life that things will be easier. Guess what ladies and gentlemen life does not look like this L______________. Sorry that would be way to easy life looks like this O. There are problems after problems. Trials after Trials and bubble bursting experiences one after another. Recently I decided to take a leap of faith to say some stuff that had been on my mind. I thought it would make everything better make everything easier and just make me happier. Oh sweet apple pie was I wrong. I was brave and took a step that I would have never have took without a lot of thought and repetitive speech writing. haha alright not all the way. I think when you take steps like this you have to realize you are not the only one in this equation 1+1 does not equal 1 hahaha nope it equals 2. There are things you think you are just doing for 2 ppl but really you are doing it for yourself whether you know it or not. This probably was one of the biggest learning experiences I have had in a long time. I learned that I can do things and be confident and sometimes confidence is hard for me. It is way too hard. I have the confidence of the lion from the wizard of oz. Anyways confidence is something you earn by experience the more you use it the more you have it. Money may not grow on trees but confidence can grow from within you the more you water it and use it. I also learned sometimes things are not meant to work sometimes we believe that we are the rulers of our lives. Dang bang boom... this is the shots of reality I heard when my sweet moment of confidence and self assurance failed on me. Sometimes your life plan is not God's plan for you. I just need to remember his plan is the better plan even if I can't see it now; I know it will be great. :) This is hard for me to remember especially now when I are in the hardest time of my life, growing up learning the steps of life and taking paths untaken. Anyway, taking this leap of faith made me realize that I am capable of doing things that make me feel venerable. It is ok to feel that way. It is a great learning feeling. I realized that when you take a step like this there is no turning back and when you take this step and spill your guts it is ok. 30 Years down the road people are usually going to forget what you told them. And a few years down the road if things don't work the way that you wanted know that maybe it wasn't meant to be and at least now I don't have to wonder what if. I hate when i wonder what if? What if I had just spilled my guts instead of staying silent. My new philosophy, you have nothing to lose. You are strong, brave, kind, and every step you take to becoming venerable and submerging yourself in sharing your feelings help you become a better version of you. I figure if someone doesn't like me for the way I am there is no reason to be spending my time with them or wasting energy on them. At least I said what needed to be said. I know don't wonder what if. I believe I have received my answer. I am growing to be ok with that answer. Somewhere out there is someone who wants me for me. I will not change me to please others. I love me for me. I just have to be patient. Oh how hard it is to settle myself to patients. Life is good. Gods plan for me is great. In time I will be a better version of me and I will love and respect myself. I have already grown tremendously in these last few weeks. Remember God is great! Trust him. Plant a seed of faith and things will be great!!! In him I trust.
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