Today I was really impressed with church. It really stuck a light bulb in my head. The speakers talked about faith. When we feel like there is no hope we keep going because we have a hope a glimmer of faith that things can get better. We don't know they will get better but we can have faith we will. But if we don't exercise our faith we will never have hope that things can get better. We don't know how things work. The example that is often used is not all of us understand how lights work but we have faith that when we flip the switch that the light will turn on. But if we don't exercise the faith the light will remain off.
I realize that I have to exercise my faith. Especially now to me it feels like things are not going the way I want them to. Life is not what I had planned it to be at this moment. Life doesn't get easier but it does get better. I have learned through faith I know my Heavenly Father will guide me to a great plan that I can't see. I need to exercise my faith to find the light switch that he has provided for me. I know that there will be light to come. It may dim it may flicker it may burn out but if I give up I will not find it.
I have been close to giving up completely. But something always stopped me the hope that things will get better. How grateful I am for the knowledge of my Heavenly Father without it I know I would have gave up and I probably would have no hope that things can get better. Every time I have gone through struggles just the knowledge that there is a greater perfect Father in Heaven waiting for me to succeed. But if it was easy it wouldn't be life. In fact it would be kind of boring. I think trials help us to find commonality in our fellow society. There will be people with similar struggles we have to learn to seek to find ways to deal with our difficult times. I know my trials are small compared to those around me I know I will be facing tsunamis crashing trials in the future and these little waves are getting me prepared for what is to come.
I have often wondered if people are placed in our lives so we can see their trials and learn from them. I know we were placed in life without a mistake.
I feel like I am weak. I have been hurt. The pain is temporary yet it is real. I know it I have felt it I am living it. I have been trying to hide it but I can't. This blog is me releasing the frustration which is pounding to get out of me. I am not trying to complain because I know this is one of many trying times that will crack my heart make my tummy spin and make my appetite light.I know with time things will get easier but for now I have to bear this painful little speed bump. I know there is a lesson to learn from this. I don't know what it is yet but I faith I will learn if I keep persisting forward. Right now I will bear my pain inside and with these words but I will try to look forward and move on. I have no idea where this will lead me but I am preparing myself to move forward. Because like one of my favorite quotes states. "When one door of happiness closes another one is opened for us, but sometimes we look so long the other way that we do not see the door that has been opened for us." I will go forward.
My lovely friend Lisa gave me a beautiful spreading joy card to let me know that she is always there. This is the quote she left for me.
"Sometimes the strongest people are people who love beyond all faults, cry behind closed doors and fight battles nobody knows about."
The quote we always write to each other is "you is kind, you is smart, you is important"
I know she was placed in my life to help me through thick and thin and I am so grateful for the other people the Lord has so kindly let come into my life to better improve it. I know I will have people who will make my life difficult and not pleasant but I know I will have to be careful of who I let break down my walls so I can protect myself and protect those around me but I have to find a good happy medium so I don't keep those people out that can better my day.
The quote I came up with in church today "Tender skin cut with diamonds,washed away with salty rain. Slowly time heals the physical pain. Scars remind you of what was and how strong you CAN be."
Life gets better but it does not get easier. <3
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